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| (Image from muslimmatters.org) |
To Finally Be Free
I am on the precipice,
looking over its edge,
and ready to step off!
I have come to this place
by choice: I have run until
there was no more ground;
I have hidden until there
was no more cover; I have
denied until I faced death.
This is a good place to be
after such a long journey!
It is good to just stand still.
It is good to not be numb.
It is good to be uncomfortable.
It is good to know I can heal.
Although, I wish I didn’t have to:
I would rather already be there;
I just want this to be over!
But the only way past this
is to go through it; the only way to
get out of this is to go all the way in.
And I know that I will get there—
eventually—and that my journey
will truly begin once I do.
It’s just hard knowing how much
it may hurt—and even harder not
knowing how much it will hurt.
Still I am here, looking down,
just wondering what it will be like
to finally be free of this pain.
-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Three Dark Horses)
"I am the darkness which brings the light!"
My Spiritual Notes:
The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I tested HIV-positive in November of 2000! And I really felt like a failure, because "I was going to get AIDS and die like all of the other fags." So, I wrote this poem as a way to try and make myself feel better by seeing this "life challenge" as an opportunity to heal!
Plus, this poem was formerly published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog but, unfortunately, I accidentally deleted this poem on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog while I was doing some editing on that blog.
However, I republished the "Absolutely Positive, Part 3 — To Finally Be Free" post as it was originally published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog on my new "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog.
Thus, this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."
This poem was written in Portland, Oregon.
-Paulee
https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com
P.S.: If you are interested in reading all of the posts in the series I wrote that include the poem "To Finally Be Free" from the above-mentioned blogs, which are listed under the post title, "Absolutely Positive, Part 1" and "Absolutely Positive, Part 2" on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog, as well as listed under the post title, "Absolutely Positive, Part 1" through "Absolutely Positive, Part 3" on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog, please see the hyperlinks below:
https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com/search/label/Absolutely%20Positive
https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com/search/label/Absolutely%20Positive
P.P.S.: If you are interested in reading all of the posts in the series I wrote that include the poem "To Finally Be Free" from the above-mentioned blogs, which are listed under the post label, "Grieving and Healing" on both of my "Small All White in the Forest" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blogs, please see the hyperlinks below:
https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com/search/label/Grieving%20and%20Healing
https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com/search/label/Grieving%20and%20Healing
P.P.P.S.: If you are interested in reading all of the posts in the series I wrote that include the poem "To Finally Be Free" from the above-mentioned blogs, which are listed under the post label, "Heal(ing)" on both of my "Small All White in the Forest" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blogs, please see the hyperlinks below:
https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com/search/label/Heal%28ing%29
https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com/search/label/Heal%28ing%29
This "Three Dark Horses" Post No. 019 was edited on May 5th, 2024.
"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]
